Episode 4 is where they introduce Kagura. She’s kinda crazy and sorta scary but still cute and funny.
Kagura: Kyo! Why did you run away for so long? You didn’t call me… Or send a card… Where were you? Oh darling… I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!! (and she starts beating Kyo to a pulp, even destroying the door) Love! You had me worried sick!!!
Yuki: Well, it appears we’ll be needing another door, doesn’t it? (as Kagura continuously beats Kyo up)
Shigure: Sometimes it feels like the whole world is conspiring to destroy my house…
Tohru: I’m… sorry…
Shigure: Oh… I was just kidding. This is normal. It’s Kagura’s way of showing affection.
Tohru: I would have never guessed… So then… from the looks of it, she must really like Kyo a lot…
Kagura suddenly stops hitting Kyo.
Kagura: Kyo! Darling? What happened? You’re hurt! Oh, no, no! Speak to me! Who did this to you?!
Shigure: Um… you, I think.
Kagura: But it is really your fault too, Kyo. If you’d just remembered to call me, you wouldn’t have made me miss you so hard!
Kyo: Who says I forgot? Maybe I didn’t want to call you!
Kagura: Oh, silly, yes you did… We are getting married, after all.
Kyo: Since when?!
Kagura: You mean you don’t remember? When we were kids! You asked me to marry you!
<Flashback of Kagura holding a huge boulder threatening to drop it on Kyo. She’s really strong.> Kyo: Only ’cause you were gonna kill me if I didn’t! Tohru: Oh, so the two of you are engaged? That’s wonderful!
Yuki: Atleast now, he’ll have someone else to fight instead of me…
Kyo: Argh! You guys!
Kagura: Kyo! You have to tell me! And be honest… Do you love me? Do you hate me? Because I love you! I do! More than anything else in the whole wide world! I’ll prove it! I’ll cook for you! Everyday! I’ll do anything! Even if you cheat on me, I can forgive a one-time fling! No one else loves you this much, do they? No! Just me! We should always be together, don’t you think? I just told you what I think, now say something, dammit!
Shigure: Ahh, this pains my heart… But moving on– Tohru, correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you something of a cat lover yourself?
Tohru: That’s me! The Year of the Cat Fan Club.
Kagura: Rival! But I’m not going to lose! Tohru, what do you like best about Kyo? Because I like everything! Everything!
Kagura: The good things, the bad things. I like them all! I love Kyo no matter what, even if he changes into his other fo–
(Kyo puts his hand over Kagura’s mouth to shut her up looking really upset).
Kyo: Shut your mouth, right now. One more word and I’ll…
(Kagura twists his arm behind his back)
Kagura: Or you’ll WHAT?!!!
(Kyo’s in pain again. Poor Kyo.)
Yuki: You should really call “mercy”, Kyo…
Kagura: Kyo! Okay, take everything off! (tries to forcefully take off Kyo’s clothes)
Kyo: Stop it! What are you doing?!
Kagura: Your laundry, silly! Now take off your clothes! Or I would have to wash YOU along with them!
(Kagura managed to take off Kyo’s shirt. Kyo managed to get off Kagura’s grasps shirtless)
Kagura: Where are you going?
Kyo: Away from you!
Kagura puts Kyo’s shirt to her face while crying…
Kagura: Gasp! That stink! How can you let him wear this? My poor, sweet darling! You’ll have clean clothes from now on, or I’m not the future Mrs. Kyo Sohma!
Tohru: I guess if you don’t need anything else, I’ll just go hang up Yuki’s clothes now…
Kagura’s busy with the laundry…
Kagura: Let’s see… how much detergent? (puts some detergent) hmmm… Maybe a little bit more… (puts a bit more) One more scoop for love (and yet another scoop). Ooh! Better yet, the whole thing! (dumps all the detergent in the laundry @_@)
Kagura: Maybe I should wring it out a little to make it dry faster… Dry! Damn you! (she wrings it so hard, it tears to pieces)
Kyo: Tell me you didn’t do what I just think you did!
Kagura: My love!
Kyo: My shirt! And I really like this one, too…
Kagura: I’m sorry, darling… I promise I’ll fix it right away… Here, you can wear this one til then… (hands Kyo a really wet shirt)
Kyo: It’s soaking wet!
Kagura: But that’s because I washed it for you.
Kyo: Is there anything of mine you didn’t wash?!
Kagura: Your pants… (referring to the one Kyo’s still wearing)
Kyo: What am I suppose to do now? Go around half-naked?! You want me to get pneumonia, is that it?! Ahhhhh!!!
(Tons of bubbles start to sprout out of the washing machine)
Shigure: Kagura… how much detergent did you use?
Kagura: All of it!
Shigure: Is something burning?
Kagura: Oh, no! The tea!
(Kagura goes to the kitchen and causes a fire. Kyo (wearing his torn up shirt) tries to fan off the fire with remnants of his clothes).
Shigure: Coming through… (Shigure comes in with a fire extinguisher)
After their ordeal…
Shigure: (giggles) Don’t we look lovely?
Kyo: I can’t believe you’re laughing.
(Shigure puts the “angry sign” above his head)
Shigure: Oh, right… Now I’m mad.
Tohru to Kyo: I think it’s sweet. When you have someone who loves you as much as she does. You should really feel pretty lucky, you know. And I think every girl dreams about getting married one day… Kagura just dreams a little louder than most.
My fave moment… You have to see it to appreciate it… (^^,)
Tohru: Right straight!
Kyo: You suck! (Oh, the look at Kyo’s face when he said this)
Kagura: Kyo, be nice! Or I’m not gonna kiss you goodbye!
Kyo: Who needs it?!
Kagura: That’s it! Kyo, you jerk! I’m leaving you, love!
(Kagura runs out of the house… Newspaper boy arrives)
Newspaper boy: Hello, it is I! Your ever-reliable local paperboy, come to deliver the news of the day! (one of the funniest extra ever)
(Kagura exits the house… about to crash to the newspaper boy)
Shigure: This is bad.
(Crash! Poof! Kagura transforms. Yuki covers the paperboy’s eye so he wouldn’t see Kagura and starts shoving him away)
Yuki: Ah, thanks for your hard work.
Newspaper boy: Oh sure… It’s my job. Sorry I was a little bit late this morning. Byeeeeeeeee!
Tohru: Kagura… You know, I think I’m beginning to understand better why it is you like Kyo so much. He really does have a lot of good qualities. And the more I learn about them, the more I want to see him the way you do.
Kagura: Kyo! You two-timer! (starts beating Kyo up again. yeah, she can still beat him up even when she’s a boar)
Shigure: I thought she’ll forgive his little fling.
Kagura: I will forgive him! Right after I kill him!
Kyo: What the hell did I do?!
Tohru: Excuse me… Maybe I should start over… What I’m trying to say is, I hope I can be like you when it comes to finding all of the good qualities in the people that I care about. They’re not always easy to see…
Kagura: You want to be like me?
Tohru: Uh-huh… It’s wonderful the way you find so many thing to like about one person…
Kagura: (Poof! Transforms back to being a human) I don’t know what to say!
Kyo: Put on some clothes!